


Scenes From A Relationship

by MdeCarabas



Series: Best Laid Plans [2]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, M/M, Polyamory, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-13
Updated: 2014-10-29
Packaged: 2018-02-21 00:47:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2449118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MdeCarabas/pseuds/MdeCarabas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Various stories from the Best Laid Plans universe compiled into one fic. This chapter: The three of them have a conversation with unintended consequences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Moving In - Timestamp: BLP + 3 Months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kai and Tucker finally pop the question. No, not that one.

"Overruled."

"That's too bad," Washington says drily, "Because you're learning anyway."

Ugh. He can't believe they're arguing about something as stupid as this at three in the morning. It's so dumb—they don't even _need_ self-defense lessons—but _someone_ freaked out about a rash of nearby break-ins and now no one’s allowed to get any sleep.

"Do you really think we're gonna be able to take on a thief with our bare hands after a couple of lessons with you?" Tucker says, sighing in exasperation when Wash continues to look mulish. "Get real. It's not gonna happen."

"I don't _want_ you to take on anyone," Washington replies, "If you think you're about to walk into a burglary, I want you to run as fast as you can and call me up. And if you can't run, I want you to be cooperative and give them whatever they want."

"So what's the point of the lessons?" Tucker demands.

Washington frowns, lips going tight with worry and fear. "I'm just worried about what might happen if neither of those things work," he explains in a low voice, "What might happen if neither of you are able to protect yourselves or each other."

They go quiet at that, because the thin veneer of confidence that Wash always has is slipping under the force of his concern. It's clear he won't give up on this without a fight. But still, Tucker has to try. "Wash, c'mon..."

Wash's chin raises stubbornly.

Tucker and Kai look at each other in commiseration. She squints at him, he shrugs in return, and after a moment of talking without saying a word they silently rock-scissors-paper for it. And then they both throw scissors, which is funny as fuck. Tucker smirks as they thrust the V's of their fingers into each other repeatedly, laughing when Kai decides to add in a few fake moans.

Washington looks like he’s reevaluating this whole relationship thing. "You do realize that stopped being funny long before you two started doing it, don't you?"

Tucker snickers. "We could say the same about you."

Kai throws her hands in the air triumphantly. "Oooh, _burn!_ " she exclaims, holding up a hand to high five Tucker. He obliges her with a grin, and the two of them trade gleeful looks at Washington's expense.

"I hate you both," Washington says.

"Nope, you totally love us," Kai teases, hopping off the arm of the sofa in order to place herself sideways on his lap, "You want to be with us forever.” She punctuates her flirty tone with a playful look from beneath her lashes.

Wash falters at that, caught by the honesty of the words. They've never really said it before, but they all know it's true. And more to the point, it’s exactly what they want Wash to hear right now.  Tucker gives her a discreet thumbs up.

"You know," Tucker says casually, "I'm pretty sure I know a way for us to be safe without taking lessons. I mean, it's not perfect, but it's worth a shot."

Wash snorts. "Is that so? Fine. Thrill me with your insight."

"You could always move in with us."

Washington freezes just like Tucker knew he would. It's a good sign, he knows that already, because Wash always goes as still as a rock whenever he's thrown for a loop by something that's important to him.

Wash blinks hard. "What...what did you just say?"

Kai presses kisses to Washington's jaw. "You're always around," she points out, "And you're always buying us groceries and stuff—"

"It's the only way anyone could eat here," Wash says weakly.

"—and if you were over all the time, we could have movie night whenever we want! We wouldn't have to call you up and wait for you to come over. And you wouldn't have to get bitchy because you forgot to bring clothes over and we didn't do laundry."

"And we'd be safe," Tucker says quickly, "No one robs a place where a cop lives, right? So if we—”

Washington runs a palm down his face. "Just...everybody hold on a minute," he says, voice strained and tone off. He takes a moment to collect himself before he continues. "Are we seriously talking about this?"

Tucker nods, expecting...fuck, he doesn't know. A smile at least, or that soft look that means Wash loves them—anything but what he actually gets, which is Wash's shoulders hunching up in a way that actually looks painful.

"Well fuck, dude," Tucker mutters, "Nobody's making you do it."

He glares down at the bowl of fruit on the coffee table as he listens to the sound of silence; also known as the sound of Washington _not_ reassuring them that none of this is how it seems. Sullenly, he takes a few oranges and starts peeling them.

They picked these by hand in a grove last week. Wash dragged them down there for a couple of hours just to get out of the city. He said it was good for them, that it would give them something to snack on instead of pop tarts and handfuls of cocoa puffs. They picked a crate's worth of those stupid oranges, and it was only once they got home that they realized the fruit was sour. He and Kai kept them anyway.

The bitterness of the fruit is a welcome taste. For once, it suits his mood entirely. He eats it with a certain kind of defiance, a fuck you to the notion of expectations, and when he's done he licks the juices from his hand like he can't stand missing a single drop.

"I told you that you don't have to keep eating those," Wash says, sounding faintly distressed. He shifts in his seat, holding Kai closer when she wobbles on his lap. Tucker responds by licking his thumb. "Could you please stop doing that? It's distracting."

Kai agrees. "We can't talk about stuff when everyone's thinking about you going down on them," she tells him with a frown, "It's like when I'm trying to do work stuff and you and Wash are fucking in the other room. It's impossible."

Tucker shoots her a dirty look. It's fine for her to be calm about it—she _knew_ that it was gonna be this way—but that doesn't mean she has to join Wash in acting like everything's normal. That's just bullshit. It's like that first date all over again, with Tucker the only one who seems to care about being ditched. Out of spite, Tucker takes a page out of Kai's book and sticks two fingers into his mouth, swirling his tongue around them before sucking hard.

Wash inhales sharply and yanks his gaze away. "You're acting ridiculous," he tells the ceiling, "We are _trying_ to have a talk—"

"We can talk later," Kai replies. She wiggles and makes to slide off Washington's lap, but he pulls her back before she can get too far away, arms coming up to wrap around her waist in a steel-like grip.

"Oh no you don't," Wash says, looking grim and determined. He pulls her even closer than before, all the while staring at Tucker with those dark, dark eyes. "You're staying here with me."

"But—"

"Focus," Wash tells her.

She pouts for a second, but still complies, leaning back into his arms like she belongs there and letting him tuck his head on her shoulder. Looking at them like that, Tucker can almost pretend that nothing is wrong. He can almost pretend that things went according to plan.

Washington takes a deep breath and lifts his head. "Look, Tucker, it's not that I don't want to move in," he begins, wincing a little when Tucker scoffs. "I just want to make sure that everyone's really on board with this decision."

Tucker scoffs again. "Everyone like you, you mean?"

Washington begins to look frustrated. "No—Tucker, are you _sure_ that everyone wants to do this?" he says pointedly, "That no one's being pressured into doing something they don't want to do? Because if—"

"So now I'm pressuring you? How, by eating a fucking orange?"

"I'm not talking about me!"

"Well I'm sure as fuck not pressuring myself!"

Washington's hands come off on Kai's waist to dig into the couch cushions. His knuckles are white with tension. "I'm not talking about you either," he bites out, "I'm talking about Kai."

Nothing else could've stopped Tucker in his tracks the way that does. He gapes stupidly at Washington for a long time, staring as confusion turns his thoughts into a jumbled mess. Slowly, he turns his gaze toward Kai.

"...wait, what?" she blurts out, looking equally lost.

Wash refuses to meet her eyes. "I overheard you talking the other day," he admits, "About asking me to move in with you. You didn't seem too eager then. And that's fine! It's more than fine. But if you're not ready to take that step then I don't think we should force you to."

Tucker and Kai exchange glances.

"Um, wow," Kai says, wrinkling her nose in response, "You're like super dumb aren't you?" She shakes her head mournfully, something Tucker immediately echoes.

Wash's head jerks toward her. "What?"

She sinks her fingers in his hair and tugs him into the sweetest kiss. "You hate dancing," she says tenderly, "But you totally used the stripper pole when we asked that day. _Yeah_ , I want you to move in with us."

Wash swallows hard. He has to clear his throat before he answers, but even then his words come out rough and raw. "You're still learning hand-to-hand," he tells them, "No excuses, not even for this."

"Wash," Tucker says, "If it'll get you to move in with us, I'll learn to wield a fucking sword."


	2. The Conversation - Timestamp: BLP+2 months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The three of them have a conversation with unintended consequences.

"You know," Tucker says, "At some point you're going to have to tell people about us."

Wash freezes on top of him, hips halting midway through a thrust. "Is this really the time to have this conversation?" he chokes out. Naked and buried in Tucker's ass, two seconds away from coming. Surely there have been better moments.

Tucker whines into his pillow when Washington fails to move again. With a frustrated groan, he lifts himself up onto both his knees, his hands scrambling for purchase on the bed when the movement makes them gasp.

"I— _fuck_ —I promised Kai I'd talk about it before she came home," Tucker says as he slams himself down on Wash's cock. He hisses in pleasure and does it again, heedless of how it affects Wash's ability to think. "And since I'm pretty sure I'm gonna fall asleep in a couple—"

Washington grabs hold of Tucker's hips and uses his own trick against him.  "Do you want to talk or do you want to fuck?" he says as pulls out and flips Tucker over, grunting as he thrusts back into him. "Because if you want to stop doing this, we can—"

"No, fuck, Wash, c'mon please," Tucker babbles. He makes a keening noise that he can't disguise, the one that says he'll be coming soon. "Don't you fucking think about it, asshole. Just fuck me, fucking _fuck_ me—"

That's what he thought.

Half an hour later, Washington jolts awake to the sound of yelling. "What is it? What's going on?" he asks frantically, head whipping back and forth between Tucker and Kai. He looks around to see what's wrong, but sees nothing out of place.

"Wait," Wash says suspiciously, "What did he do now?"

"He fucked you with the acrobat costume on without me," she exclaims. She angrily kicks at the leotard on the floor and sends it flying. "We were still practicing our routine! Not cool!"

Tucker flops back down on the bed with a relieved sigh. “Oh thank god,” he says as if it were nothing, “I thought you were pissed about something else.”

He turns to give Tucker a reproving look.

Tucker rolls his eyes. "What, like you weren't enjoying yourself?"

"That's not the point and you know it," Washington says. The point is that Kai seems to have worked hard on whatever it is that she had planned, and for Tucker to ruin all of that for one admittedly great hour of role playing was inconsiderate to say the least.

Kai still looks distraught.

Washington leans over and holds his hand out, encouraging her to step on Tucker on her way over. "Don't worry," he assures her as she climbs on the bed, ignoring Tucker's yelp as a knee narrowly avoids hitting his crotch, "He didn't ruin the routine. You two can still perform it if you want."

"Yeah," Tucker grumbles, "I'm not _that_ much of a dick."

She seems a little mollified by that, but not as much as he thought she would be. He wonders why as she settles into his lap, hands already moving everywhere, stroking across his chest and neck while Tucker watches them with interest.

"Okay," she says, "So did he do the other thing too?"

"What other thing?" Washington asks. He's admittedly distracted by the way her skirt is slipping up right now, but he thinks he would've remembered her mentioning something else. He tries his best to pay attention to what she says.

She glances at Tucker, eyes narrowing at him once again. "The thing," she repeats, an insistence to her tone that wasn't there before, "The thing he was supposed to ask you? That he was freaking out about _forever?_ "

Washington side eyes Tucker, who avoids his gaze. "I never said _she_ was the one who wanted to talk about it," he mutters. Tucker shifts on the bed. "And anyway, it doesn't matter because you don't wanna do it."

"I didn't say that," Washington says defensively, "And I never said I wasn't going to do it. I just didn't think that was the appropriate time to ask about it. Those are two separate issues."

Tucker lights up. "So you are gonna do it."

Washington shifts. "I didn't say that either."

But that's what he means and maybe that's obvious, because Kai slips off him without another word and Tucker comes on his knees to crawl after her. The two of them make room for each other at the foot of the bed, a united front against Washington's coldness.

He tells himself it doesn't matter. That he's doing this for _them_. "Look," Washington says, "We don't have to have this conversation now. We can talk about it later."

Tucker scoffs. "Uh, fuck _that_ , dude. We're talking about it now."

To his surprise, Kai nods in agreement with Tucker. "I'm with him on this one," she says when they both turn to look at her in surprise, "I mean, like, I'm not being a total baby about it, but I think he's right? I guess."

"See?" Tucker says, and then: "Hey!"

Wash decides he needs to be upright for this conversation. Upright and preferably clothed. With a sigh, he crawls out from under the covers and stretches over the bed to pick his pants off of the floor. They're right by the leotard with the convenient cut-outs, exactly where he left them.

He puts them on as slowly as he can, stalling them for a few more moments. Finally, he attempts to get out of it using the only leverage he has: the absolute truth. "The police aren't exactly known for accepting--"

Tucker looks exasperated. "We're not talking about the police," he tells Washington,"We're talking about your friends."

He tries again. "South knows."

Kai rolls her eyes. "Uh, yeah, because I told her," she replies, "You don't get to take credit for that. Besides, I only told her and Donut so I could brag about being your dirty secret. She didn't care, but he was way jealous."

Washington sputters. "You're not my dirty secret!"

Kai shrugs and looks away. He begins to gets a sinking feeling in his chest then, a small sick feeling that tells him it's more serious than he thinks. "It's cool," she says breezily, "I've been a lot of people's dirty secret. It's fun! They buy you lots of stuff because they feel guilty all the time."

Tucker looks at him accusingly.

Washington takes a deep breath. And then another and another, over and over until the desire to hunt down everyone who hurt her in the past subsides. "You're not my dirty secret," he repeats quietly, "I just..."

He doesn't know what to say. He doesn't know if there's anything he can say.  He only knows that it's more complicated than they're making it sound, and the pounding in his ears isn't doing anything to help him think.

"Look," Washington begins, "This isn't exactly a common arrangement. If the wrong person found out about us—"

"Like _who?_ " Tucker says, "Who the fuck is gonna give a shit about who you date? And what are they gonna do, fucking make fun of you? Who the fuck _cares?_ "

" _I_ care," Wash replies, "I care what people think—"

"But they're just gonna be super jealous of us!"

Washington grits his teeth and forces himself to power through. "I care what people think," he repeats, nearly spitting out the words, "Because I care about how they treat you."

Just like that, the room goes silent.

"I don't care about how people treat me," Washington says, "But I care about you. And what do you think will happen if people find out? Do you think they'd be accepting? Our friends will, but what about our coworkers?"

Kai hesitates. "But...they don't have to find out?"

Wash shakes his head. "Do you think no one notices when you come to my job?" he points out, "Do you think no one noticed before? They might not know what's going on now, but if we tell people it is _going_ to get out. Someone will slip up in front of someone who doesn't know, and once one person knows, then everyone will."

Kai and Tucker take each other's hand.

"There will be comments," Wash tells them, "Comments and whispers every time someone sees you. Not just at the precinct, but on the streets. It'll spread around the neighborhood until everyone knows." He looks steadily at Kai. "It'll be like the abortion clinic all over again. Is that what you want?"

She bites her lip.

"I didn't think so," Washington says harshly.

And then for the first time in weeks, he goes to his apartment and sleeps alone.


End file.
